The Big Dipper.

Songs, places, smells, images, and flowers can all be a representation of a person or a moment. Add the big dipper to my collection of beautiful memories. I'm not sure where I am heading and I am not sure if I am doing this all right, but for now I am beyond balanced, content, and let's just say it- happy. I want these moments to mean something and for the first time in my life, they are. Amor Fati.

<3 Katy

Summer List

The end of summer is just around the corner. With this fact I am determined to complete the following items. If you would like to join or participate, do it! Don't Trust In Your Future!

1. Go on a camping trip.
2. Jump off the cliffs with Chris and Sarah.
3. Read two more books.
4. Go see Bailie in Vegas.
5. See the sunset at the lake.
6. See a movie by myself.
7. Go on a hike.
8. Take a long drive.
9. Quit drinking soda.
10. Finish painting my room.
11. Buy sunflowers.
12. Go to the Museum.
13. Paint something.
14. Print and take more photographs.

Ready, set, go! Let's get this done and enjoy the rest of the best summer I've ever had!
<3

Delicate.

Simplicity... and to be delicate.

As I cry to my mother about the sorrow my friends are experiencing, she reminds me again of the compassion that I withhold. It's a rare gift, she proclaims, that someone of your mind set and abilities can feel so deeply for your dearest friends and to even the people you hardly know. This wasn't the first time, or the only person that has expressed this. However, I have never know what to say back to her let alone anyone else, but through my tears I knew what I had to do.

As I stared into the eyes of a mother who lost her precious son, I choked. For days I had been planning on what to say when I met the woman that raised this amazing man, but all I could release from my body was a quiet sob and how nice it was to finally meet her. She stood tall and embraced me in a warm, motherly hug, and as tears flowed down my face I felt the strength she possesses. To be as strong as her...

The sadness and new meaning of life filled around me and I couldn't help but find myself in tears. We are reminded that life isn't fair, that life is too short, and that the impact we have on each other is endless. Every act, every spoken word is of a great purpose. I'm not sure if I am making sense, but for now- all I can do is be there, the shoulder to cry on, the friend to call at midnight when the day has settled down, and the person that will no longer be worried about the small and insignificant things anymore. If I were to die tomorrow, would this matter? If I were to be gone, what will be cherished? I'm sick of speaking of carpe diem, I'm ready to live it. In honor of the man that left us so early in his life, I promise to live to the fullest and make sure that those that are left behind are loved with all my heart. My heart goes out to those that will be struggling with this for their lifetime, my heart goes out to those that knew the greatness you possessed. You are greatly missed, my friend, and here's to you. Get the party ready for when we come. We, all of us, love and miss you.

Katy.

Dum loquimur, fugerit invida
Aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero

ttwo completely seperate posts put into one.

Something I would ask you...
They say that you can't really live unless you have faith in something. How could you live without it? Can you be successful without it? In other words, can you be faithless and still exist, still have a purpose? Which raises the question of your purpose. Faith equals to your purpose, dedication determines your life... or does it? Do you even get the choice to choose what you have faith in? Or is it something that is handed to you or branded to your soul? Do you choose to lose your faith or is it just part of your fate? So many questions.... 

And I don't even know his last name...

It's June 21st. The last time I truly looked at my calender, it was May. These past few weeks have been complete and utter chaos. With summer finally here and with an empty wallet to prove it, I couldn't be happier. With the mixture of friends, family, and a good time I couldn't imagine my life being any better than it is at the moment. The sun is out, the days are long, and the drives in my red car are priceless. All I need is a bouquet of sunflowers and we have the summer I have been longing for!

I've started counting days by the night and my new bed time is never before three, but you can't really blame me. Three friends that don't live in Reno anymore made their way over the country to visit. One after the other they arrived and we conquered the town. Everything from strangers giving me over 200 dollars to gamble with, to bouncers giving me back messages. What day is it again, oh right- it's June 21st.

With a brief break in the middle of this chaos I found myself completely content with having a night in. Reading my new novel or watching a funny movie I have found myself at that perfect level of happiness. I'm fine being out with the girls, dinners and dates with the boys, and the nights that I curl up in my bed alone are perfect. This is the moment of life that I have been missing for the past few months and I am so excited that I can finally say that I am happy, on my own terms. I mean, how can one not be happy when the rodeo is in town?

Cowboys. Oh dear. It is on the bucket list that I end up dating a cowboy, not necessarily a heavy dating type, but for some reason I am fascinated! With the rodeo in town I have found enough country driven gals to play wingwomen with. Gone twice and hoping to go one more time before they pick up and leave, I can't believe our luck sometimes. Wanna go? Just give us a ring and will have the time of our lives. Ferris wheels and cotton candy I feel as if I am a child again, and for the first time, in a very long time... I am excited to be young. You have to be young and wild before you can become old and wise and that is just what I am doing. Let the chips fall where they may and watch the stars because today is the only day that matters. Live, laugh, and love for what will tomorrow bring? Let me stop just saying carpe diem phrases and let me take them into my life, hold them close to my heart, and for goodness sake, let me be free. What to do today? I'm off for a day in the sun while I play our (Sarah, Renee, and Katy's) anthem!

Enjoy.
P.S. I want red high heels.

Bucket List and Adventures

Growing up in Reno has given me the life, experiences, and strength I need to eventually grow into the woman that I desire. With the upsides of living in a twenty-four hour town with friends and family, I seem to find myself often wondering what it would have been like to live in the Great Salt Lake City, Utah. Over half of my extended family lives in the great lands of Utah or have at some point or another which makes visits rare and special. Family reunions were always necessary for the fact that we sometimes go years without seeing one another. However, it is always a tad awkward to be in a room of people that see each other on a regular basis and or at least recognize one another. (Who's the girl with black hair?) This leads me to one of the best weekends I've had in awhile.

Flying away from Reno and into Salt Lake always gives me a sense of coming home. While I have never actually lived in Salt Lake, it feels that I am an honorary member of their society. I can find my way around downtown, as well as, some of the outside cities and I also know the extensive rivalry between Utah and BYU sports. I can hang with the crowd and not get lost when they pronounce mountain like mah-wnn. Most of all, I can it my home away from home- always a welcome door mat and even if Reno sometimes follows me to my safe place, I can usually find my way out of the garbage.

Either way, the weekend was filled with family activities such as: watching soccer games, going swimming, chasing the little ones around, and having a traditional breakfast at the Crackle Barrel. However, this trip was going to find itself a tad bit different than the last. About two hours away from the Salt Lake Temple is an earthwork called the Spiral Jetty ...  

I was asked what I wanted to do this weekend... and sure enough I had an idea. Since my recent report on Robert Smithson  and other earthworks artists in America I've been a tad obsessed with seeing as many as I could. Part of my bucketlist is dedicated to seeing certain art pieces and when I finally find myself in the vicinity of them, I can't find myself happier. However, this isn't a happy or lucky story, while on our way to the top of the Great Salt Lake, listening to the Eagles on repeat, we found ourselves driving through lands of cows, grass, and weeds. No civilization to be heard of for at least an hour, the small signs proclaimed that we were about fifteen minutes away from our destination. With excitement we stopped at what we thought was the Spiral Jetty. For the last few years, the Jetty was submersed in the surrounding water and with this thought in the back of my mind, I figured that I could only see a section of her. In the picture above you can see a small beach that lies to the right, for about an hour we walked around this small beach perplexed with the small pieces of beauty that lie around the area. The pictures were amazing and the beach was calm. Hardly any noise along with the slow moving water brought a sense of surrealism to my life. My smile was huge until we got back in cell service and realized that, lo and behold- we didn't actually see the Spiral Jetty, that the Spiral Jetty was actually about five minutes past our amazing beach. With less than a third of gas in our tank and the sun about twenty minutes from setting, I started to cry. For years I have been waiting to see this, it had been over three hours of driving, we were hungry and yes... I had to pee for about  the last two hours at this point. With faith in our hearts and a little encouragement from my father we found ourselves on the road back to our destination, often times finding ourselves in neutral to save some gas. We made it, barely, and the joy that I felt can't be compared to anything else in this world. I know that this is my calling on this world, I am meant to keep the art alive, I am meant to fight the fight, I am meant to see and experience and share and WARN EVERYONE GOING TO THE SPIRAL JETTY THAT IT ISN'T ON THE FIRST BEACH YOU SEE!!! KEEP DRIVING, SON! haha. Here is some pictures that I took, most on the beach but a couple of the Jetty herself. Thank you Smithson, for your passion and for a work that has lasted over 40 years. I bow to the great.

With love,

Katy

God.

"I've met God across his long walnut desk with his diplomas hanging on the wall behind him, and God asks me, "Why?"  Why did I cause so much pain?  Didn't I realize that each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness?  Can't I see how we're all manifestations of love?  I look at God behind his desk, taking notes on a pad, but God's got this all wrong.  We are not special.  We are not crap or trash, either.  We just are.  We just are, and what happens just happens.  And God says, "No, that's not right."  Yeah.  Well.  Whatever.  You can't teach God anything."